This week’s episode of What-If Wednesday is brought to you by my fears and insecurities!
What if I weren’t so afraid all the time?
I’m afraid of so many things. It’s crippling. I’m afraid of failure and disappointing people. I’m afraid of looking stupid. I’m afraid of rejection and loneliness. I’m afraid I’ll never amount to anything, never be good enough. I’m afraid I take up too much space. I’m afraid nobody actually likes me or wants me around. I’m afraid that I’ll relapse. I’m afraid if I don’t it will mean none of it was real. So much fear.
But let’s imagine, for a moment, a me that isn’t scared of my own shadow.
If I weren’t afraid of failing at everything, what would I do differently? I would go after my dreams. Cut loose and accept my power. I would put myself out there. I would write. I would dedicate my time and energy and focus to reaching my goals, rather than grinding out an existence and just getting by. I would train hard. I would train with everything I have. I would hone my craft, I would heal my body, I would fight for what I want instead of moping about what I don’t have. I would take a chance on myself. I would be kind to myself. I would let myself be wild and free. I would enjoy the simple pleasures of every day.
It’s unreasonable to think I’ll wake up tomorrow and be fearless. I can’t delete a lifetime of memories and social programming. Wouldn’t that be nice? (or maybe not!) But I can be aware of the limitations fear is putting on my life. I can start to take control of my fears, one step at a time. It’s a long road, but the time will pass with or without me trying to move forward. I guess it wouldn’t hurt (too much) to try…